You see, open mike, one of the basic tenets of Pastafarianism (followers of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster are known as Pastafarians) is that there's a direct correlation between the increase in global warming over the last few hundred years and the decrease in pirates*. By actively participating in Talk Like a Pirate Day, we are also helping save the planet.

*There are those who claim that there are actually more pirates on the seas today than at any other time in history. But those aren't real pirates. They don't say "Arrr!" and drink rum. They're nothing but the seagoing equivalent of muggers and carjackers.