Right, first of all, the singing *isn't* the problem here.

The problem is, dear Skipy, that you have let someone else rule your life for way too long, and you have chosen to do so, perhaps without realising it.

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

You have given her permission to take away decades of enjoyment for you. You now have to sit and decide that she either wins for the rest of your life, and on your dying bed you suddenly realise what you did...OR..you decide, from this moment onwards, to take *back* control of your life, your singing and your future.

People who want to wound do so. Then, they simply move on, without any thought of those they have hurt.

You have to see that one person's opinion is just *that*...ONE opinion. There will always be someone who doesn't like the way someone sings, plays, paints, designs, looks, walks, talks...or writes. But that person is NOT everyone. We all love different things, different paintings, different types of music, etc..

But I know the damage so often goes so very deep.

Heck, my daughter was told by her art teacher that her work was "crap"...and it made her want to give up on life, because her art WAS her life. At that point, I took her out of school, forever. She put away her brushes for two years, and it took much love to repair the damage. Yes, she's painting again, but she is still filled with self-doubt, because that word, spoken so thoughtlessly by a woman who didn't give a shit about any of her students, and was known for it.....found it's way into a deeply sensitive heart, into a soul who was born to paint.

You have that same sensitivity, skipy...and so often that sensitivity carries with it a deep talent, a creative talent.

Take one step at a time.

Go to the singing festivals with your friends, but tell them you'd just like to watch...or...you can tell a small lie, which won't hurt anyone, and say you have a sore throat and can't sing at present, which will get them off your back about taking part. Then, just sit there quietly, watching, listening, absorbing it all, just enjoying it.

If that goes OK, then go to another one, go to a folk club...but don't be worried about saying "Thanks, but no thank you, not just at the moment"...because if they're true friends, they'll respect that...and let you come back to singing in your own time.

Your voice is obviously desperate to get out again.. :0) That's why it's brought you here to tell people, to ask for help....so listen to your voice...and know that one way or another, that voice is going to come back.

Don't be like Mr. Tanner..learn from his story, which at the minute is also your story. Write yourself a different ending, but understand that you are not alone in being easily wounded.

Harry Chapin - Mr. Tanner

Anyone who gives you criticism which is *not* constructive and delivered with your best interests at heart, in a loving way, should never be listened to, because all they are doing is feeding their own spiteful nature.

Do NOT give her your permission, skipy, withdraw it, from this moment on.

"..And he sang from his heart, and he sang from his soul. And he did not know how well he sang, it just made him whole" - Harry Chapin.