John Smith's smooth? You must be joking. Why include piss in a list of beers? Beer should be alive, served from handpump if not from the barrel, not pasturised cat-waz serverd under nitrogen top-pressure.

And while we're at it, I think Guinness is over-rated. They say it's better in Ireland. All I can say is, it had better be.

And while we're at it, am I alone in thinking that it's becoming increasingly difficult to find beer (that's beer, alive, served from handpump if not from the barrel) served at an appropriate temperature; for the Guinness & lager drinkers among you, an appropriate temperature is WARM. Why kill all taste, as is necessary with lager, by chilling it when the product at correct temperature fills the nose with delightful bouquet, the mouth with tastes of warm malt and sharp hops and leaves lingering aftertastes of elderflower or liquorice? The very names of the hops (Fuggles, Goldings, names themselves to linger on the tongue) are redolent of a tradition older than most of the song I sing, a tradition that I'm determined my thirst (and, I have to confess my sheer delight in drinking beer long after the thirst is quenched) shall help to maintain.

So what's good? Old Mill Mild (dark, nutty, delicious, brewed in Yorkshire, of a strength low enough to leave you standing up even after a satiety -- and satiety doesn't come early with a beer that good) is one of my favourites and, conveniently, served just round the corner from my office. London Pride is also wonderful (no geographical preferences here, you'll note). But I'll drink anything out of a handpump, and enjoy 99% of it.

Beer is wonderful. Beer is best.