It was Mary Magdalene who took over the cause after her dark-eyed husband Jesus met his undeserved end on the cross, and if she'd had her way she would have continued teaching reincarnation and equality of gender too, just like he did, but you know what happened?

A bunch of sorry-ass male chauvinist egomaniacs headed up by Peter and Paul took over instead, and their followers grafted the new church directly into the corrupt power structure of the Roman Empire not too long after that, and you see the results today. Horrifying.

I still think that cornflake is probably in the image of either a contemporary wrestler or a country singer. It could be Travis Tritt, eh?