My mom has been dead for 20 years now, we were great friends while we had the time. I can only get back home to 'visit' about once a year or so, but when I do, I always make time for 'girl-talk'. I remember when the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups with cookies in them came out, my first thought was "Mom would LOVE these!" When I went home that year I left some out at her grave. It's a strange thing really, I can't say that I believe in an 'afterlife' of any kind, just that your energy goes on, but I can't stop going out and sharing the news of family, boyfriends, and where life has taken me.

We clean up the pioneer cemetaries out here, and I fell in love with the cemetaries in Williamsburg VA. In high school, my best friend and I got plastered and drove in the middle of a thunderstorm to 'visit' Hank Williams. I remember going out there, but I can't say I remember coming home. I like to think he was watching out for a couple of stupid kids.

Rick, did you ever think that we go to the cemetaries more for ourselves than those who are buried there? Like the thought of them 'looking down' (in the case of most of the folks that I know it would be 'looking up'!) on us gives us a sort of protective shroud to face what life on this earth doles out? I think some of the best decisions that I ever made after talking to my mom weren't so much from her approval or disapproval, but in sitting quietly for a few minutes and hearing myself say the things out loud. If it sounds ridiculous saying it to a tombstone surrounded in sweet-pea vines, then it's probably not a very good decision to begin with.

~JenEllen