No, Kat, I want to hear it all, it helps! Lots! I have been keeping a log, but I also had been warned that the Commonwealth of VA is very biased right now against sole custody, and although I have documented each missed everything, in the long run, since I fled at the first thrown plate out of fear that the blows so long-threatened (but not yet believed) would follow, none of it seemed to matter to the judge since I couldn't document any PHYSICAL abuse. I think that the bottom line was that the kind of neglect I can document is stuff like all the missed doctor's appointments, parties, pickups, deliveries, or the boys not being ready when it's my turn to fetch) aren't seen as I see them, as symptomatic of a deeper problem (whereas the fact that the children come back acting as if they'd been ignored for days doesn't count, it's "opinion"). The attitude from the bench was I'm sure you believe you were in danger, and given that you were right to flee with the children, but I'm not convinced that the threat WAS real. And just because you had a terrible marriage doesn't mean X2B is a terrible parent (my argument is No it doesn't, all this OTHER stuff demonstrated the terrible parent part). The judge ignored the specific recommendation of the psych evaluator that as the hostility towards me would prevent any workable co-parenting, I should have sole custody...
I'm trying not to be "parentist" but I wish the judge had children.

Also, Praise, I think you're right about ComBob. Very well put.