As part of the ongoing effort to educate WAV into English culture, can I explain to him that the word "gig" is generally used to mean a paid professional engagement. Floorspots, singarounds, busking in the street and singing in the bath don't count.

WAV, by referring to your "gigs" you're implying that you've been paid to perform. Perhaps you also imagine that masquerading as a gigging performer somehow gives your bizarre views greater authority. Having briefly endured some of your website offerings I find it hard to believe that anyone would pay you to perform, except perhaps as a malicious joke, but of course I may be wrong.