Today was one of those days that, when I look back on them later, I see quite clearly where this persistent notion came from, that I am actually the only person who can be in charge of my own healthcare-- not any doctor, nurse, practice group, or healthcare system. In my younger years I suspected it, but I rebelled against it. Today I can just remind myself that a phone call billed as "urgent"-- that never came-- maybe isn't really so urgent.

See, on the one hand there is a mountainous pile of potential worry and "Gotta Do Something Now!" On the other hand there is quite a large pile of historically solid Benign Reality. Today, so far, I did most of the things I had planned to do, and didn't notice any serious obstacle to doing them. (Enter Scarlett O'Hara in hoopskirts.)


So it's up to me to decide:

<> whether to take it personally that my call didn't come, from the one doc I picked to be my main guy after years of really abysmal rural health care, and assume it's a case of more lousy healthcare--

or

<> whether to assume that the doc had read the MRI report and just hadn't been so worried that he felt the need to set aside over-booked patients, hospital rounds, and a first baby due any minute at home, to call me.


.... And the docs wonder why we end up taking responsibility for ourselves and not treating them like the Gods they used to be able to pretend they were! They went out of the "I'm God" business a long, long time ago. :~) The job was open-- so I took it.

~Susan