You can't possibly be lost since you're here, but if you aren't here its because you can't get back here. In which case it might behoove you to go to a local mall, which isn't here, where you'll find an information stand replete with mall map and a big red "X" stating "You Are Here"......but in that case you aren't here either since you're there but if we were there you'd be here when you were there.

Let me know how this works out for you.

Spaw