Damn! I wish I would have noticed this 5 days earlier when it was posted - But at least no one else has commented yet so I cannot resist:-)

Ralphie to Eliza "Have just purchased your new waxing this very afternoon"

Eliza! Do the family know about this? Ralphie - You would be better thought of if you kept a ladies personal details to yourself.

Then Ruth started on bum gazing! We have a local haulier called R Swain (Say it aloud please) I always reckon it is the opposite to R Swacks.

As to poetry

An instrument I seek, as English as can be
Heard on the high streets, Why is it so off key?
'tis the screams as wax pulls hair from their bits
An instrument of torture, to get on everyones nerves...

WAV eat your heart out. Just of to a BNP meeting. See you later...

:D