No, you're not here, and I can prove it.

You're not at the North Pole, are you? You'd know if you were at the North Pole, there would be snow, and night wouldn't come, and you'd be nervy about polar bears.

And you're not at the South Pole, are you? You'd know if you were at the South Pole, it would be just like the North Pole, except it would be night time, and there wouldn't be any polar bears - you get the idea.

So, if you're not at the North Pole, and you're not at the South Pole, you must be someplace else.

And if you're someplace else, you can't be here!

Bradypus (the old ones are the best, sometimes)