From the Bodleian Ballads catalogue: Harding B 20(38):

DICK DARLING THE COBBLER

My name is Dick Darling the cobbler,
I served my time out in Kent;
Some call me an old fornicator,
Which causes me much to relent.

    With my twing, twing, &c.

These thirty years I've been a rover,
With all the contents of my pack;
With my hammer, my awl and my pincers,
I trudge them away on my back.

Now there was a fellow came into my shop one day:—Darling, says he, Sir, says I. I'll hold five shillings to three maqueens, that I sole five pair of shoes to you three.—Done says I. Done says he. So away we fell to work: I bate the poor devil in a clean and dacent manner, as an Irishman ought to do! but after that the dirty bogtrotter refused to pay me, so he did, so I fell to and beat him till I broke every bone in my own body, and after that they had to carry me home on an old shutter: but it's now past 10, and I must have these shoes sol'd & heel'd by 11, so here goes.

    With my twing, twing, &c.

My wife she is blinky and blary,
My wife she is humpy and black,
She's the deuce all over for prating,
For her tongue it keeps going click clack.

The devil a know I know at all, at all how it is that woman's tongues are hung; but men's tongues are hung by the one end; but by my own soul my wife's tongue is hung by the middle, for no sooner does the one end strike the upper part of her jaw then the other hits the lower, till I'm forced to give her a slap on the one side of the jaw to stop her. Then she runs out of the house crying out: Watch! Watch! have an eye down in the cellar upon that dirty ould brute, who has been after knocking me down with the flat-iron, and breaking the collar bone of my jaw with his last: but it is now past 10, and I must have these shoes sol'd & heel'd by 11, so here goes.

    With my twing, twing, &c.

So now we are parted for ever,
This morning before it was light,
The old woman fell into the river,
So politely I bid her good night.

So here I am, Dick Darling O'Gallagan Mc. Thussle, O hone! a single married man, at the service of any young lady, maid, or wife, who has got plenty of money and love to spend, and would be after joining her delicate hand to mine for life; then should any dirty bog-trotting ould thief dare to say that black is the white of her eye, it is myself that would give them the molly-groggins, so it is. But it is now past 10, and I must have these shoes sol'd and heeled by 11, so here goes.

    With my twing, twing, &c.