Now, Amos, don't start waving your arms around and pacing rapidly up and down as you deliver these impassioned outbursts...it causes shortness of breath and it is unduly hard on the nervous system.   ;-)

You are verging into extreme hyperbole, as is your wont. No, it is only the word "tits" that I object to. I find it coarse and vulgar. I have no objection whatsoever to the word "breast" or "breasts" being used in any of the combinations you alluded to, nor am I offended by the expression "useless as teats on a boar hog". People who are ignorant of the elementary physical structure and function of male pigs do not concern me overly much, I can assure you. There are very few such people in any case, and those few who do exist are quite harmless, in my opinion.

Now look...suppose someone were to say, "Amos should make a clean breast of his ignorance regarding teats on boar hogs..."

Would that be cause for you to be offended? Certainly not!

But suppose someone were to say, "Amos is a tit-faced abomination. He's as useless as six tits on a boar hog..."

THEN you would have cause to be offended!

Clear?