Well, in that case, Praise....

From the great songwriter who was once referred to as "Comrade Ochs" by the American Opinion:

DRAFT DODGER RAG
Written by Phil Ochs
As recorded by Phil Ochs on "I Ain't Marching Anymore" (1965)

1. Oh, I'm just a typical American boy
From a typical American town.
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
And a-keepin' old Castro down,
And when it came my time to serve,
I knew better dead than red,
But when I got to my old draft board,
Buddy, this is what I said:

CHORUS: Sarge, I'm only eighteen, I got a ruptured spleen,
And I always carry a purse.
I've got eyes like a bat, and my feet are flat,
And my asthma's gettin' worse.
Yes, think of my career, my sweetheart dear,
My poor old invalid aunt.
Besides, I ain't no fool, I'm a-goin' to school,
And I'm a-workin' in a defense plant.

2. I got a dislocated disc and a racked up back.
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs.
And when the bombshell hits, I get epileptic fits,
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs.
I got the weakness woes; I can't touch my toes.
I can hardly reach my knees,
And if the enemy came close to me,
Why, I'd probably start to sneeze. CHORUS

3. Ooh, I hate Chou En-lai, and I hope he dies,
But one thing you gotta see:
That someone's gotta go over there,
And that someone isn't me.
So I wish you well, Sarge; give 'em hell.
Kill me a thousand or so,
And if you ever get a war without blood and gore,
I'll be the first to go. CHORUS