I'm sure I heard the joke this song is based on many years ago. Ron Baxter of Fleetwood put it into verse, with the hope that it might appeal to local hairdresser and ukulele wizard Richard Grothusen (The Amazing Dick). I put a tune to it (substantially similar to the one that accompanies "Paddy and the Bricks") ages ago, and I've been singing it occasionally ever since. Finally got performed for its intended recipient last year.

A GROSS ERROR (RON BAXTER)
Tune trad. arr. Ross Campbell

I was working down the barber's on a "Tony Curtis" crop,
When an auld lad, about eighty-four, shuffled in the shop;
I said "I'll not be long, sir!", but for a cut he hadn't come;
He said "I'd like a word wi' you - and in private, son!"

"You remember Friday evening, the last time you cut ma hair?
Just as I was leaving, you said 'One moment, sir!
Anything for the week-end?' and I said 'I think I ought
to have a few of they Johnny things - so a gross from you I bought!'"

I said, "Indeed!", I remembered him, for that many I rarely sell;
He frowned as he continued, for things hadn't turned out well;
"Although a hundred and forty-four from you I thought I'd bought -
I'm sorry, son, but you've diddled me, and I find I'm a packet short!"

"Oh!" I said "I'm really sorry, sir, you can have another pack -
Or if you would prefer it, you can have a refund back!"
He said "No, never mind, lad - but I'll tell ye as a friend -
To be more careful in future - for you spoiled a great week-end!"

The last half-line is spoken with a sigh, and more in sorrow than in anger.

Ross