but as a change from the humour of Woss, Clarkson and the like.....

"I've always been a Daily Mail reader. I prefer it to a newspaper."

'Often referred to as "Fascism with Oven Gloves on" The Daily Wail, also known as The Daily Heil and The Daily Fail is a hugely popular British comic for those who believe themselves (usually mistakenly) to be members of the middle classes.

A pair of rose-tinted spectacles must be worn to read articles in the Daily Mail, which describe how everything was great in the 1950s before the Islamic Conquest and the introduction of drugs, fat women, asylum seekers, paedophiles, the homeless and the invention of sex made daily life intolerable for the conservative middle-class Chelsea tractor driving mums and retired army colonels that inhabit these sceptred isles.

The Mail was first issued on 26 July 1932 (dated 30 July). The headline on the first edition was 'The British Union of Fascists: Our Patriotic Angels!'.

The present editor is Paul Dacre, known for his sweet and engaging personality, anti-swearing policy and rare porcelain collection. Dacre died in 1984, but was brought back to life by Jushin Thunder Liger in 1991, only to be run over by a truck in 1992, and again for luck in 2001.

More recent additions to the Mail line-up include the side-splitting shenanigans of London taxi driver Richard Littlejohn, with his world-famous witticisms, including
"British women married to Iraqis should be left to rot in their adopted country, with their hideous husbands and their unattractive terrorist children"
and
"Does anyone really give a monkey's about what happens in Rwanda? If the Mbongo tribe wants to wipe out the Mbingo tribe and eat their brains then as far as I am concerned that is entirely a matter for them".

It is worth noting that any Daily Mail headline phrased as a question can be answered with the word 'No'.
Hence 'Did Dragons Once Roam This Sceptred Isle?',
'Are we ruled by a Gay Mafia?' and
'Is The Daily Mail In Any Way Reasonable?'.

A first issue of The Daily Mail sold for £1 on 16 March 2004, which was, at the time, the lowest price ever paid for chip wrapping-paper at auction.'

Thanks to the uncylopedia