mjm, you do have to find your own "bottom line" here, and I personally, respect you tremendously for being so open minded. You are probably one of the very few whose mind is not made up, and therefore, open. I know that even I am still very mixed up about this, even having "been there". Mine was not a PBA, but was still a Theraputic abortion rather than a spontaneous. The whole thing is such a mess of opinions and contradictions.

Every March 14th, I miss the child I do not have, even though I knew then, and know now, I could not have had/raised "him", nor given "him" away after carrying for 9 months. (In my mind, I named him Absalom)