The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #115435   Message #2497733
Posted By: Little Hawk
19-Nov-08 - 12:58 PM
Thread Name: BS: Canuck Liberal Party Leader... who?
Subject: RE: BS: Canuck Liberal Party Leader... who?
Back when it was a 3-way race between Brian Mulroney, John Turner, and Ed Broadbent, I envisioned this scene unfolding during one of the televised debates between the 3 candidates:

Following a spirited exchange of accusations and counter-accusations between Mulroney and Turner, as Broadbent looks fretfully on waiting for a chance to jump in and score a devastating point, John Turner suddenly loses his temper altogether, points his shaking finger at Brian Mulroney and says,

"You, sir, are nothing but a pompous pontificating poseur who has led this country precipitately down the pandering path to perdition...you and your smarmy wife Mila with her perky smile and her phony lively enthusiasm...."

At which Mulroney turns white, steps away from his lectern, and advances grimly on Turner, saying, "Don't you DARE say that about my wife, you miserable Liberal scumbag!"

As the members of the press stand transfixed in frozen astonishment, Turner and Mulroney leap on each other like mad dogs and roll around on the stage attempting to throttle one another. Microphone stands tumble, feedback screeches from the sound system, and pandemonium ensues.

Ed Broadbent rushes forward and attempts to separate the combatants. "Gentlemen!" he blurts, "You forget yourselves! We are on national TV!"

Turner and Mulroney release their bulldog grip on one another for an instant, glare at Broadbent with mutual looks of pure hatred, and both of them sieze the NDP politician by the arms, swing him vigorously back, then hurl him bodily off the stage into the orchestra pit! They then resume their violent fisticuffs upon one another careening around the stage and wrecking havoc as studio technicians and a number of RCMP officers storm onstage trying desperately to restore order.

At the height of the confusion Ed Broadbent reappears! Leaping back onto the stage, he utters a shrill cry of inarticulate fury and hurls himself upon Mulroney and Broadbent. The three of them fall off the stage in a mingled ball of kicking, gouging, biting, hair-pulling frenzy as the TV screens around the country suddenly go blank and are replaced by.....

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Would have made for one hell of a memorable election, wouldn't it? ;-)