I hadn't realized that you had such a talent, aptitude, and genuine love of really tedious and uncomfortable handyman type jobs, Bobert, but now that I do....

I need some roof venting put in.

And some cedars cut down.

And some repairs to the soffets and gutters.

And a lantern installed by the back entrance.

And a dog ramp put in for the dachshunds (similar to a wheelchair ramp).

It's cold enough out there right now to freeze the balls off a Sicilian Mafioso, so I figger you are the man to take on these jobs.

When can I expect your arrival?