The pirates will finance part of the purchase of Citgroup by selling new Pirate Ransom Backed Securities. The PRBS's are backed by the cash flows from future ransom payments from hijackings in the Gulf of Aden. Moody's and S&P have already issued a AAA investment grade rating for the PRBS's.
Head pirate, Ubu Kalid Shandu, said "We need a bank so that we have a place to keep all of our ransom money. Thankfully, the dislocations in the capital markets have allowed us to purchase Citigroup at an attractive valuation and to take advantage of TARP capital."
Shandu added, "We don't call ourselves pirates. We are a privately run coast guard and this will just allow us to guard our coasts better."
Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Bernanke promised today to take "whatever steps are needed" for Somali pirates.