Oggie asked for this two years ago - hope you're still around!
                                 
MARY'S BOY CHILD
(as re-written for Christmas Grumpies by Grumpy John Conolly …)


Long time ago in Bethlehem,so the Holy Bible say
Christmas was invented – but they couldn't make it pay ..
They had no supermarkets,for to make the shekels roll –
Such wasted opportunity offends my very soul …

CHORUS :   HARK NOW HEAR THE ANGELS SING –LISTEN WHAT THEY SAY –
                      THAT IN THIS WORLD OF SINNERS, THERE'S A MUG BORN EVERY DAY …

Now, I'm a Supermarket Boss, I've got a chain of shops
And when it comes to Christmas time,we pull out all the stops…
Christmas Carols on the Musak,hear them loudly play,
And when they've pulled the punters in,we make the suckers pay …

Now Santa Claus's Magic Grotto brings in kids galore
While Mums and Dads are getting blotto, in the pub next door..
Come closing time,they'll wait in line ,to buy their Christmas tree –
Of course,they're twice the normal price ,but – Buy One,Get One Free !

Step right in for "Peace on Earth" and FREE "Goodwill to Man",
With our Olde English Christmas tat,made in Ye Olde Taiwan …
Get your plastic Homer Simpson,he's the latest rave –
You just unscrew his arsehole, and he's full of aftershave …

Now,down our street it looks a treat ,each house got up in style,
And our front garden's all lit up,like Blackpool's Golden Mile …
It's down to Dad – he's just gone mad ,with his Outdoor Lighting Set ..
And our New Year electric bill looks like the National Debt …

Old Christmas Hits from Yesteryear get thrust at me and you –
Like "Do They Know It's Christmas?" – YES, I THINK WE BLOODY DO !!!
We've known since MID-OCTOBER,and I really think it's time
To tell Cliff Richard where to stick his "Mistletoe and Wine " ….