I know exactly what you mean, Faye. Trouble is, by posting that you'll probably get umpteen of the usual suspects pitching up to say it ain't so, or that their particular club would never do that, so all's rosy in the garden of folk.
You're right, though - your average trad club is pretty well doomed, and deservedly so; it seems to have become a support group for the musically or emotionally challenged. There are some good ones about that I know of, but even those aren't really the sort of places you'd take a friend to. It would involve far too much explaining...