Poor, poor Amos. A perfect example of merda taurorum animas conturbit. Even though his teachers used to say "Hic puer est stultissimus omnium" Mom continued to have faith in him, saying "Studium discendi voluntate quae cogi non potest constat" and reinforcing his tiny ego with statements like "Braccae illae virides cum subucula rosea et tunica Caledonia-quam elenganter concinnatur!" Even though his teachers and those who knew him "back in the day" felt strongly that exemplum de simia, quae, quando plus ascendit, plus apparent posteriora eius, we kept after him, plying him to better himself by posting placards of encouragement, such a "Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinis alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes!"

But we failed, and now he lives in San Diego where the motto seems to be "Da mihi sis bubulae frustrum assae, solana tuberosa in modo Gallico fricta, ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum."