The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #28249 Message #2520393
Posted By: Genie
20-Dec-08 - 03:16 AM
Thread Name: Christmas Parodies I
Subject: Lyr Add: THE CHRISTMAS THONG (Jeanene Pratt)
Back in Dec. 2001, Aine had a Song Challenge! concerning an office memo from Richard Branson to the Virgin Mobile staff re expected behavior (and verboten behavior) at the upcoming Christmas party - e.g., banning the practice of xeroxing rumps. This New Christmas Party Conduct Guidelines generated a veritable spate of irreverent and hilarious compositions. Those that were parodies of Christmas carols or winter songs include these:
The Copied Bummer Boy
Rack Your Balls (Upon The Copier)
The Little Toner Drum Boy
The Office Secretary (Tune: Ding! Dong! Merrily On High
Just Bums Sitting On the Copier
Jolie All Saints Melanie
Give It A Rest, Ye Merry Revelers
This one is probably my favorite of the ones I had submitted: Memo (Re Christmas Office Party)
The Christmas Thong
THE CHRISTMAS THONG
Words: Jeanene Pratt © 2001
Tune: The Christmas Song (Mel Tormé & Robert Wells, 1946)
Chester's perching on the copier;
Jackson's ripping off his clothes;
You'll find Carol being done by a buyer,*
And folks act up like pesky shmoes.
Ev'rybody knows that turkey with his mistletoe
Guarantees a raunchy time;
Fanny Scott (hers already exposed)
Is in the fax-your-fanny line.
We know there's gonna be horseplay -
We're loaded girls and boys with booty to display.
But Virgin's legal team is gonna spy
For fear that some dear cuts her butt here and cries.
And so they're offering this silly rule:
"You kids, no copies in the nude.
You know it's been said many years, many days,
'Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas,
Merry Christmas--
You're sued!'"
*Alternative lines (if the setting is altered a bit):
Jewel's tied Carroll to a hunk from the choir
You'll find Carol being done by the choir.
Jewel's tied Carroll to a bunk by the fire.
**Alternative line:
And Boy George dressed up like a 'ho.'