Jim, in your comment of 03 Jan 09 - 01:52 PM, you wrote that that "the impolite people won't change their habits and won't go away". Perhaps that's true, though I suppose that there is always hope that a person might change his or her ways. However, I disagree with your position that it's always the best to ignore and not respond back to an impolite person.

Just as in face to face situations, it seems to me that how a person responds to online "impoliteness" should be determined on a case by case basis. Sometimes it's best to let a remark go. At other times it's best to address the remark without anger, perhaps with {attempts at} humor or wit, or perhaps with a firm, succient comment. Other times, it's best to let your controlled anger show. }Note that I don't think it's ever best to let your anger take control of you}.

There are any number of other ways that a person could intelligently address what she or he considers to be an attack. In my opinion, sometimes it may be the best choice to let the attacking person or persons know that you will and can defend yourself=with {hopefully} well chosen words.

I believe that there are times that it's best to let the person attacking you know that you choose not to respond to him or her on that thread at that time or perhaps at any other time on that thread. Sometimes it's best to just leave the thread. I have used all of these strategies at one time or another. And if a person follows you from one thread to another bringing up the same or similar points that you chose not to argue, then-based on all kinds of variables, you have to decide what is the best action or non-action for you to take. strategy

In a Mudcat thread I started a few years ago about responses to what I {and others} considered to be racism on Mudcat threads, I pointed out that it is important to any person so targeted to know that there are people who that person can count on for support-people who proactively spoke out in a supportive manner. It seems to me that at least some of the time, if there is a person being targeted on a Mudcat thread, because of race, ethnicity, nationality, personality, religion, or for what ever reason, other people on that thread should not ignore that maltreatment. Nor should they always wait for that person who is being targeted to defend himself or herself.

It seems to me that it reflects poorly on our community if the burden of addressing ill treatment always falls on the person or persons being targeted. Certainly, if this were the case, I would not want to be a part of such a community. Just as Mudcatters has made it known by their comments within threads that they don't tolerate racism and prejudice, I believe that when we Mudcatters, {veteran members, veteran guests, and newbies} see a person being treated rudely or spitefully on public threads by another persons or persons , we shouldn't just try to ignore that behaviour, but should speak out, and let the person/s doing that know that such behaviour is unacceptable.

Sometimes this might work, and sometimes not. Sometimes pms to the offending person might be warranted and/or alerting Mudcat moderators about the incident or patterns of incidences that we have noticed. But if people don't never speak out on the public threads when such offensive behaviour occurs, then that sends negative messages not only to other oeople posting to the thread, but also to people reading that thread now and potentially in the future.

I pray and hope that I make the right choices when faced with what I consider to be others' negative statements and behaviour. And, if I realize that I've make the wrong choice/s, I pray and hope that I am woman enough to own up to my mistakes, both publicly and privately through the pm system, and that I do whatever I can to rectify my misjudgement/s.