The troubles with importing beer are manifold:

Does it travel? How long does it have to be cellared before it's drinkable? Is it so strong that everyone becomes dysfunctional after three pints? Will there be enough of it?

The last is probably the worst - went to a village festival recently where they'd invited 12 Morris sides and numerous musicians. We'd drunk the pub dry by 9pm on the Saturday; there was supposed to be an extension until 3am and there was still the SUnday to go!!!

Slim Dusty had a song for such situations, and I revived it.

Incidentally, is everyone aware how the police establish whether one is "drunk and incapable" or "drunk and disorderly"?

They trip you up. If you go down and stay down it's "D&I", if you go down and come up fighting it's "D&D".

Poor little Euan!