I've had conversations with two people in the last few hours that both led to the discussions of the gift of listening. I thought I'd share a chapter of my book on here on the topic. Because my book is about my faith, Jesus is mentioned a couple of times. If you find that off-putting, you can pass on this posting and the next one. It will take two posts for the whole chapter. I couldn't see any intelligent way to take the references to Jesus out of the chapter.

STORY LISTENERS (part one)

Listening is a gift that not everyone has. It requires stepping out of ourselves and into the life of someone else. Any urge to judge has to be set aside. When people need to talk, more often than not, it's not because they are seeking advice. Don't offer any, unless it is asked for. They just need to feel that someone understands them. In a way, it's not that important that you do. It just means a lot to them that you care enough to stop and listen. And who knows—maybe you'll learn something.
Everyone has a story to tell: a lifetime of stories. Stories are different than anecdotes. Anecdotes usually start out with, "That reminds me of the time . . ." Anecdotes tell about something that happened. Stories come from the heart. And every story requires a listener.
In The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter, Mr. Singer, who is a deaf-mute, lives a life of isolation, his stories buried inside of him. The only person he could "talk" to was his deaf-mute friend who was a child living in a man's body. But Mr. Singer was a story listener. He could read lips and he listened with rapt attention. Those who poured out their dreams and frustrations to him felt he cared about them in a way that no one else did. His compassion shone through, and they somehow knew that no matter how intimate a secret they shared with him, he would not judge them. But the best story listener was Jesus. No person was so lowly or unacceptable to others that Christ wouldn't open his heart to them.

Publicans, harlots, beggars and thieves
Jesus was a friend to them all
He ate at their tables and walked on their streets
And he comforted their weary souls

You never know when Christ will send someone to you, who needs to talk with you:

If you meet a stranger, welcome him in
Don't leave him standing at your door
You can never tell who Jesus will send
Whether they are rich or poor

Several years ago, I was walking across the parking lot of a Grand Union supermarket. It was a beautiful, sunny day and I had a bounce in my step when I heard a car horn blowing. I looked around to see where it was coming from, and saw a woman parked at the edge of the lot with her window rolled down, waving to me. I turned and walked over to the car, figuring that it was someone I knew. When I got close enough, I realized I had never seen her before. When I got up to the car, she said "Hello, I wanted to ask you to pray for my mother."
She had a story to tell. I stood there, leaning against the side of her car and she poured her heart out. Her mother was in the hospital and she was very concerned for her. I asked her mother's name and told her that not only would I pray for her, but that my wife and I would visit her in the hospital. I asked her why she thought that I would pray for her mother, and she said, "When I saw you walking across the parking lot, you looked like a minister." I told her that I wasn't, but she understood her needs better than I did. She needed someone to minister to her and somehow she sensed I would. We are all ministers, and you never can tell who Jesus will send to you for ministering.         
People seek out story listeners wherever they can find them. Supermarkets seem to be as good a place as any. More recently, I stopped at a Big Y on the way home to pick up a couple of items. I was standing in the Express Checkout line when I glanced back, and out of the corner of my eye saw a woman standing behind me. I made room on the conveyor belt and invited her to put her groceries down before noticing that all she was buying was a small greeting card. I smiled when I saw that and said, "I'd hate to have you standing in line holding that heavy card," and she laughed. And the floodgates opened. She told me that it was a thank-you card for her brother. She said, "He just bought me a new Chevrolet Suburban SUV and paid for my insurance, and I wanted to let him know how much I appreciate it." I said that she must have a wonderful brother, and she started talking about how she washes his clothes and cleans his house, and all the things that she does for him. I responded by saying "When you do something good for someone else, you'll get your reward when you least expect it." She needed to talk to someone. It just happened to be me. As I left, I told her to have a good day and to enjoy her car.