The Folk Police, together with Offuk Special Branch, are particularly concerned with Drug Related Folk Crime (DREDF*KC). Offenses of this nature can cause confusion amongst delicate members of the the Folk Community and the public in general.

Incidents of this nature should be reported to ********** and you all know who I mean.

Our Internal Investigations Branch (INBRED) (Yes I know, you have a go) is looking closely at the following:

1. People with no real understanding of it - trying to sing harmony.
2. People who cannot stay awake through 23 verses of their own ballads
3. Morris Dances who cannot get off the ground and clearly past the probability of fertilizing anything, claiming they are dancing to increase fertility
4. Style Crime - tankards, waistcoats, badges, caps, clogs, festival T shirts, anything to agricultural

Cheers

L in C
With clearly nothing better to do