The old oaken bucket,
That iron-bound bucket
The old oaken bucket
That hung in the well.

The old open well stoup
And the old outhouse nigh it
That gave all the family
Cholera and hell.

(CHORUS)

Typhoid, dysentery,
Diarrhea, dental caries,
From the old oaken bucket
That hung in the well.

THERE! Are you satisfied now? I've done gone and rewrote your favorite song of all time.