It is so frustrating to not be able to do anything substantial when someone you love very much is going through so much pain. All we can do is be here for her.

I understand how you feel; I think we all do, here, to the lesser extent that is appropriate for the lesser role/closeness we have... but I want to say this very clearly:


You ARE doing something substantial, to stay close to someone you love very much, when they are going through pain. It IS substantial just to be there-- for anyone.

I could tell you a million stories where real people have told me, deeply moved, how it mattered in practical ways as well as in "heart"-ways, just to know someone-- even just one person, even just for a moment-- was really there for them.

I know that will not stop the powerless-to-help feeling, but remember that support is huge help (and also can mean the supporters need to take occasional, short, step-back breaks).

~Susan