laughing gas bombs over the side

Those sticky balls as seen in The Incredibles by Pixar

Microwave projectors that would heat the pirates internally until they passed out.

The Homeland Security riot weapon that uses sub sound bass notes that induce instant nausea.

Blinding lasers.

Animatronic swimmers that they would try to take hostage

The best songs of Paris Hilton at loud volume.

oil cast overboard and set ablaze.

A bale of old Hustler and Playboy magazines tossed over the side.