WAIT A MINUTE! BELAY CHUNKIN' OL' TUB-A-LARD INTO THE VOLCANO!

Has it not occurred to you that tossing something as unappetizing as a Shatner into the volcano will give the poor thing a severe case of indigestion? Then it will probably start burping up globs of lava which will melt the snow, producing a river running from Amos's house to the Pacific Ocean?

On second thought, Amos has always wanted waterfront property. Throw the lard-assed old ham in.

(Sorry, Bill, but Scotty can't beam you up from this one.)