The two immediately below could be modified to include other populations near and dear to the reader:

"You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood,
Put it into a flea's navel,
And have room left over for a caraway seed
And an agent's heart."

Fred Allen

"Hollywood is a place where people spend money they don't have,
To buy things they don't need,
To impress people they don't like."

Ken Murray

Candy's dandy,
Liquor's quicker,
But sex won't rot your teeth.

Better to have flunked your Wasserman
Than never to have loved at all.

What's round and brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's last movement...