We are talking about lessons in integrty, here. (Boy Kendall, has this thread morphed - but not unrelated - one of the reasons you are so beloved is because of your integrity.)

Thing is, integrity is multifaceted, and it seems to me, is no longer the norm. Because it is no longer taught within the context of the greater society. Cash register honesty is important, but it is a small piece of a much bigger pie. These days, what is legal is considered to be integrity, but integrity goes well beyond what is legal. Business values that posit that the only loyalty is to the stockholder or corporation lack integrity, even if the corporation stays within the letter of the law.

Remember when it was considered bad sportsmanship to boo the opposing team? Remember when you were in high school and technical fouls would be called if the crowd behaved badly to distract a basketball player at the foul line? IMO, those were lessons in integrity. Integrity engenders respect for others and the efforts of others, as well as moral respect for the self.   

Remember when a kid would actually tell on other kids who were drinking, smoking, stealing from other kids or teachers? It might have pissed some kids off, but it was generally accepted that the kid who told did the right thing, and they were not likely to be completely ostrasized or beat up in the alley because of it (at least in many places.)

Teaching integrity, because it was broadly defined and understood, was not such a hard task for my parents. I'm finding with my own son that I do not have the support of the general mores of society to teach him. That is what Deborah and others are encountering when the store says "nevermind." My guess is the store is so shocked that a parent is holding a kid accountable that they see that as the point, not recognizing that they also need to hold the child accountable, by offering some sterness and then forgiveness, instead of just "that's OK."

My son has had two i-pods taken at school after he carelessly left them in the library or classroom, and his lunch gets taken at frequent intervals. He simply accepts this. Kid's attitudes are "finders-keepers." No effort to figure out who left the equipment and return it to them. He recently found a PSP at school and was going to keep it, consistent with what his peers do. When I say it I asked where it came from. We had a heart-to-heart, and he decided he needed to put up posters saying he had found a PSP. It was soon returned to it's rightful owner. Curiously, after that, one of the I-Pods he had lost was returned to him by another student who decided after three months that maybe it wasn't just "found."

It is a mystery to me that parents do not notice, or do not inquire when their kids suddenly have these small but expensive electronic devices. Why do they not insist the kid make an effort to return the device to the student who carelessly left it somewhere at school? (Disclaimer- my son attends a small, Quaker school with less than 160 students attending the upper school [9-12])