The Eulogy

Good afternoon. For you that don't know me, my name is Duane M.... I have been honored to call Andie Robbins a friend for about 10 years now. In the Society for Creative Anachronism, I had the honor and privilege to be Andie's mentor and teacher. Andie once called me her 'Big Brother' and I very much feel as though she is the sister of my heart.

Her mother has asked that I start today's memorials. After I am done speaking, the family has asked that anyone who wishes to, please come up and follow me.

"Music is Sound and Silence." These words were spoken to me many years ago by Chicago jazz trumpeter and vocalist Floyd Standifer. What he meant was that every millisecond of a song is important and that the silence between the notes are just as important in the delivery of that song as the music itself. That music , like life, seeks a balance. Just as Andie's life was about Sound, today it is very much about Silence.

We gather to remember the young woman of incredible energy and talent. Andie was gifted both as a talented performer and composer. Her voice was clear and true. Today we gather in silence and then we stand alone here to tell the stories of her life.

I remember the first time I heard her sing, while she was in high school.   She had written a song in honor of her friend Susan J…. She performed it, at the head table of one of our feasts, quaking and trembling in fright .

[I remember this as the only time I ever saw Andie nervous about singing, she so wanted to impress the SCA people.. VT]

Afterwards, I found her in a quiet hallway and thanked her for her gift of song, giving her a small token of my esteem for her bravery. A few years later, when she was a freshmen in college, we reacquainted at a local event and our friendship renewed and strengthened. In time we decided to enter into a formal relationship with Andie agreeing to become my apprentice, studying music and performance. At the ceremony that marked that occasion, I told her that she was "my Shining Star and the Rock upon which I would build my household." Over the years, she proved me right again and again.

I had the distinct honor of watching the young woman blossom as a performer, from shy little girl to a confident, poised woman who could silence a room and hold their attention with rapt awe. Sound and Silence in perfect harmony.

Andie and I would perform for large crowds and for quiet gatherings, singing in harmony together or taking turns. She had a natural ear for harmony and loved to sing in choruses and groups perhaps more than she did singing alone. Either way, Andie understood the Muse's power, it's ability to lift you out of a place and take you somewhere beautiful. She shone like the sun when she sang. Her face was alight with joy. I hear her still now and it comforts me as I ponder the mystery of her life here, trying to figure out why her fire had to burn so brief, why there is silence now, when we had just started singing.

We both shared a great love of music from all times, genre and places. She had a near encyclopedic knowledge of popular music. We spent many hours making my fiancé, Kim crazy on long car trips, singing together.

Andie used to snort when she laughed. Here Duane imitated Andie's *Snort Snort* One time on a long car trip north and the heate rin my van was broken, the windows fogged up because of our laughing and singing. Andie snorted and I slowly reached up and marked out a hash mark on the window. I made her laugh again and again and kept marking. When I crossed them for the fifth mark, she asked, "What are you doing?" "I'm keeping track…. I've got five!" and Kim said "I've got three?"

Andie and I used to play this little game on Instant Messenger where one of us would start a song lyric like "Rejoice rejoice, We have no choice" and the other would come back with "But to carry on." I have a feeling that in the coming months I am going to be sitting at my computer waiting for one of those messages to pop up. I'm going to catch myself wanting tosend her one. And the Silence is going to be deafening for me when I realize she isn't there anymore.

At her apprenticing ceremony, I promised to guide and lead her. I quoted John 21:18 where Christ told Peter that 'when you were a child you woke in the morning, put on your tunic and sandals, girded your belt and walked where you willed. But I tell you now that in the days to come another will gird you and lead you where you would not wish to follow. ' Now I find Andie leading me to a place that I cannot follow. And I am heartbroken not to be able to lead her there instead.

I am standing here today, wishing her a safe passage and a quick journey. I am listening for that Sound that made the music Her Song. I am carrying it in my heart like Fire. I can still hear her voice and it is just as clear and true in my mind as it was the last time I heard it.

I am going to try and sing for you one last time Andie, because I think you would like that.
He sang The Life of the Bard, link to words somewhere above.
she would want music and joy and sound and song. But right now we need a little Silence too, so we can listen to her voice. So we can hear her song again, in our hearts. God keep you Andie. I can't wait for you to share all the new songs that you'll learn with me, and hear your laughter. You'll help me fit right in. Until then, I think the balance is always going to be just a little bit off down here. Too much Silence and not enough Sound. But we will cry because you have gone away, we will rejoice in your life and that we were blessed to know you and we will all carry on, as best we can.