"Jan is doing her Van Gough impression. Friday morning ''What cutting her Ear off "Thats a Saturday night special an it surely?

At PigsEar I asked a chap if he had a light he said " Sorry mate I do not smoke. whereby a chap on the next garden bench Said," I ve got one here

. I said " Van Gough had one Ear but he didn't have a lighter?

My Polish friend should be coming and hopefully this time I wont have to dash off to find her and miss me Thursday night dinner. and end up having handouts down the Tally Ho ,

Using her Polish influence she managed to get out the landlord a pair of wellington boots, two umbrella,s and a plate of sandwiches within two minutes of getting in there, and by the time she left on the friday she had conned me out of my Keghol and left with such haste on the Friday morn that she took with her all my clean and dirty under pants by mistake which she threw in the nearest bin on the way home ,
The whole bloody lot . What a Par-larva?

I had to go to M&S in Eltham when I got back and buy all new ones which put me nearly £30.00 out of pocket ?