Funnies



Some oldies but goodies. Enjoy!



These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words, not to mention waving middle fingers.



The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."



A Member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."



"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr



"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill



"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill



"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow



"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).



"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas



"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."- Abraham Lincoln



"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain



"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde



"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill



"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." – Winston Churchill, in response.



"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop



"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright



"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West



"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde



"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
here are some examples of why I think Ramblings of an old codger,is funnier than BORFOLK or Boring Day.
finally,Vic, I will offer you some advice,mind your own business.