Water, Lady Raffles? What do you want water for? I thought that pale liquid you drank was white wine.


List:

Chair
Torch
Picnic rug with plastic bottom
Snout and anything else you want to smoke
Skins
Lighter (bring several, you will lose them)
BOOZE/doobs if required
Tankard
Cup if you consume non-alcoholic items
Water container for water from the tap
Plate
KFS (knife, fork, spoon set)
Washing up bowl and washing up liquid
Wet wipes, kitchen roll, SPARE BOG ROLL IN CASE,
Soap and towel if you want to wash
Warm jackets/jumpers/socks/trainers,
WELLIES
Clean jeans and underthings
Clean T-shirt
Hat with brim
Sunscreen/Aftersun
Mossie repellent/Anthistan
Comestibles and a cool bag or box to store food/drink,
Bottle opener/tin opener, cling film/silver foil
Spare sausages in case DK runs out/other food
HP sauce and Colmans mustard
Chilis
Garlic
Bread
Butter/grease
Cheese
Milk if you use it
RESOLVE for the morning(s) after
Sunglasses
Specs if you use them
Mobile phone
Laptop/PDA if required
Guitar, capo, picks, guitar stand/other instruments/music
Pliers/wirecutters for banjos
Stanley knife/switchblade for melodeons, banjos bodhrans and bagpipes
Water pistol for electronic bagpipes
Tent (NB tentpegs tentopoles guyropes and hammer),
Sleeping bag, pillow, airbed, pump for airbed
CONDOMS for use in above (can you really all have forgotten?)
Tissues (fill in the blank)
Camera (fill in the blank)
Painkillers in case of broken/infected tooth/infected ears
Any required prescription medicines (particularly important for the paranoid schizophrenics or heart patients)
Wallet in case of trip to pub
Credit card in case of trip to off licence
Wire coathanger and dustbin bags or rubble sacks and gaffa tape - you'd be amazed what you can fix with them!
Kukri, Kris, and/or baseball bat in case the BNP turn up