Where's Paco Rabanne when you need him?

Had beautiful green false nails when I first met him.

Will

I play bass and that removes any semblance of nails on the first two fingers of my right hand (and a bit on the ring finger) which plays havoc with my fingerpicking. I have always fingerpicked with the skin pads of my fingers predominantly rather than with my nails so it doesn't matter much.

Weirdly I have to cut my left hand nails very regularly - they never break, never chip and grow like mad. I'm thinking of learning to play the guitar left handed just to fool my body.