I love a man who paraphrases Flann O'Brien...

When your village exists only inside of your head,
and your clog dancer turns out to be a man;
When even the swans are apt to migrate -
A bottle of Dog is your only man.

When your English Concertina is full of Chinese reads,
And your English Flute is made in Japan,
When nothing you believe in is quite what it seems -
A bottle of Dog is your only man.