"relating to the very same Weed patch Mrs Leveller has been kindly advising me on, of late "

Shhhhhh. My eldest son's a copper! (In very loud voice) YES, aren't they lovely tomato plants. No, funnily enough, we haven't had any toms off them yet!!!!!!!!! More cake? It's your favourite.

Oh my god, a rather large lady and her two children have just driven past in a buggy pulled by a very spotty Shetland pony whose name, I believe is (cringe) Spoticus.

BTW, squire's pheasants are looking good this year - just hope our lurcher, Susie, is still fast enough to.......(taps side of nose with finger in knowing, old countryman sort of way).