Like Art, I spent a good amount of time last night writing highlights of how my relationship with the Patons came to be. My post would have been right after Dan Milner's, but, when I tried to send, it failed. It is hard to reconstruct something when you've already expressed the thoughts & emotions, but I think we owe it to ourselves & to each other to try. Art, this time, write your post in MS Word, save, & then copy & paste it onto Mudcat. Please do share with us; your contribution is so special! Although you & I have never met in person, I've come to love you through our connection on Mudcat.

Pat, what you said is so true. Sandy has not left a hole in my life; he has enriched & expanded it. I think he did that in many ways for many people. He was quiet & modest, even self-effacing, but he'd listen, say a word, offer an opinion & the results might be far-reaching.

I was a late-comer to the folk music community. I am neither performer or even, seriously, a singer or player. I am, however, a strong supporter of the music & its performers. I became aware of folk music in general & Folk Legacy in specific after my divorce in 1989, when I dated a man who owned most of the Folk Legacy recordings & who first took me to the Old Songs Festival in Albany, New York. After a series of zigs & zags, I met Duane D. online in 1997. One of the main things we had in common, to start, was a shared love of Folk Legacy's Bok, Muir, Trickett recordings! One day, while searching online for song lyrics, I stumbled into Mudcat. After some time, I clicked on the "Check out our Forum!" link & got hooked on online community! In July of 1999, I believe I hosted the second East Coast mudcat gathering (You can see photos taken there from the mudcat "Quick Links" menu. Go to "Member Photos & Info" then "Photos" then "Events." It is the 5th link from the bottom.). About 14 people were there, including Sandy & Caroline. By March of 2000, when Patons' partner, Lee Haggerty died, Duane & I were just getting close enough to Sandy & Caroline that we were invited to participate. We sat in a circle with folks whose concerts we paid to attend & whose music we purchased, singing on an equal footing with them. That is the Paton style. Frequently, at the Old Songs Festival, performers would come up while Caroline & I were chatting & she would say to them, "Do you know Barbara Carr?" Poor things! They would look bewildered, thinking (I assume), "Should I?" At Lee's gathering, Sandy introduced me as "the famous bbc." Wow! Famous in very few circles, I think!

My job took me closer to Folk Legacy's home in Sharon, Connecticut in 1998 and, then, partly to be closer to the Patons, I moved to Copake, New York in 2003--10 minutes from Folk Legacy from work & half an hour from home. Through the years, Duane & I just got closer & closer to Sandy & Caroline. They became like parents to us, as they have to so many others, but like the parents you would choose to have. Over a cup of tea after work, a dinner out, standing around the booth at Old Songs, I'd moan about relationships, work, parents, compare notes on concerts & performers. Sandy & Caroline would always listen with interest & compassion, offering suggestions when appropriate. They have referred to me, lovingly, as their token Christian Republican friend & we have managed to peacefully & respectfully co-exist (even during the Clinton & Bush presidencies!). As Sandy & Caroline have needed more help, Duane & I have been able to "step into the gap." Since our relationship started through Mudcat, each time I've helped Patons, I've felt, in a sense, that I am doing it for all of you who love them, too, but live at a distance & don't have the option of being here.

I have probably rambled far too long, but want to mention, in closing, a few of the things Sandy & I shared that had particular significance to me. I have, mostly, been a "people" friend to the Patons, rather than a music friend, although I do share a love & some knowledge of the music. Sandy & Caroline have been gently nudging me toward more traditional music, in a desire to educate me. When I'd attend concerts, I got in the habit of sending Sandy email reviews of the performance & performer. As a relative newcomer to folk music, I got a huge kick out of the fact that my opinion & Sandy's would, almost always, be the same! After I saw the movie, "Songcatcher" (which I heard about on Mudcat!), I became familiar with the ballads & stories of Sheila Kay Adams. At the beginning of this July, I was finally able to meet Sheila in person at the Traditional Song Week of the Swannanoa Gathering in Asheville, North Carolina & to sit at her feet for 3 hours each of the 5 days there, for ballad singing & storytelling. When I reported on the week to Sandy & Caroline, I was able to tell them I finally "got" what the ballads are about. That made them smile! One last thing--Although Rick Fielding nicknamed me "Beebs" & spaw & Mick think they can refer to me as such, I think I like Sandy's recent name for me better. Usually, when I'd go over to the house, I'd find him at the table or, more often, the computer. I'd slip up behind him to say hi & give him a little "cheek hug." He called me "Copake Cuddles." I'll miss that.

With love to all,

Barbara