no swearing in the village, please.

Fuck. Cunt. Bollocks. Shit. Morris. Bastard. Twat. Arse. Folk.

In the village swearing will be mandatory, WAV - the only language that won't be allowed is the racist bullshit you publish & promote as your Life's Work.

In the re-Imagined Village the corner shop will be run by Mr Patel, a Scottish born 2nd Generation Pakistani Moslem who sells everything from Samosas to Selkirk Bannocks to Polish Apple Cakes. The takeaways will be Chinese, Gurkha and Indian, and there will be a tiny Traditional Fish & Chip shop, like The Old Stables in Ewyas Harold which is one the finest in the country, specially given its proximity to the sea. The Village will be a perfect microcosm of the multi-cultural and multi-ethnic reality of our United Kingdom with favour given to diversity, eccentricity, disability, and special needs of every stripe.

And people will be free to park anywhere they like.