It's that rural White-guy thing, Ebbie. Ya find a lotta conservatives in them frontier kinda states where there is a lotta country and not much city. They grow up thinkin' they are all Daniel Boone or Clint Eastwood or somethin' and they just naturally vote fer the guys like McCain or Reagan or Bush...you know, White-guy cowboy cement-head stereotypes. They distrust anybody who don't fit their Dodge City mentality that they got from the old TV shows.

You know how many votes the Primate Party pulled in Alaska when I ran fer president in 2008?

Twelve!

That tells ya what's goin' on right there. I happen to know fer a fact that there are thirteen chimps of voting age in the whole friggin' state of Alaska. Not one human Alaskan voted for REAL change in Washington in 2008!!!!!

Furthermore, when I find the one damn chimp who voted against us there, I am gonna kick his ass!

You don't need to "see Russia" to know that somethin' is way off the beam in Alaska. If I was president, I'd sell the state to Canada at a bargain basement price they couldn't refuse and be done with it. It don't make no sense havin' that place in the Union nohow anyway if ya ask me. It's too far north. You look at it on a map and you can see it was a stupid idea.

- Chongo