Have we done pigs yet? I definitely feel the need for a pig, but it has to be a rare breed. I suppose it ought to be a Middle White as that's the traditional Yorkshire cottage pig, but I love Gloucester Old Spots. I used to have a Gloucester Old Spots as a pet. When little, she slept with the dog in its basket but as she got bigger she was housed in a very commodious sty. This had to be vacated to make way for my parents and the pig went to live in the field, which she loved to dig up. A GOS could eat up the windfalls in my orchard and we could have great conversations (pigs are very intelligent).

"Now as all "good old villages" had a squire who should we nominate?"

I'd like to nominate my pig. Damn sight more intelligent than most so-called squires I've ever come across.