I LIKE IKE
(Joe Glazer, as recorded by John Greenway)

I like Ike. He's a friendly guy.
When things go wrong, he doesn't pine and sigh--
No, that great big smile and friendly grin,
Helps you forget the mess that we're in.
I like Ike. Love that smile. Makes me feel so good.

Well, a pal of mine lost his job and his car
While Ike was out golfing, shooting for par;
Couldn't find a job for days and days,
But for good old Ike he had plenty of praise, he said,
"I like Ike. Love that smile. Makes me forget my troubles.

Well, the government's big and Ike's so busy
He can't run it himself or he'd soon get dizzy;
So he's got a lot of fellows just sort of helping him
While he's shooting the quail or catching the trout.

And the number-one helper in the whole shebang
Is a fellow named Humphrey, the leader of the gang;
I don't mean Hubert, Minnesota's pride and joy--
I mean "Trickle-Down George," the banker's boy.
George says, "We got to balance the budget." And when he says "We,"
He means you. And me. But not old George.

Trickle-Down George is in charge of the taxes;
He's the big boy in the Washington-Wall Street axis
He wouldn't cut the taxes for you and me,
He says that's "irresponsibility,"
But for the big fat cats he swings his ax,
Biff, Bang, whish, down comes their tax,
But don't worry, brother. You'll soak up a couple of drops.
When she trickles down.

Well, another little helper is Douglas MacKay--
He's the man in charge of the giveaway.
He gives away oil and public power
And the timberlands for Eisenhower.
'Cause Ike's so busy both night and day
He hasn't got time to give the stuff away.
That Ike, he says with those twinkling eyes,
"Why, it all helps private enterprise."
But I like Ike. I love that smile. Makes me feel so good.

Well, another little helper that Ike once had
Was Oveta Cuip Hobby, and her story's very sad.
No member of the Cabinet was ever sweeter
Or less efficient than dear old 'Veta.
She looked good on the cover of Vogue magazine
But she sure made a mess of the Salk vaccine.

And the schools? Well, the schools are jammed from the floors to the roof
But Oveta Culp Hobby said, "That's no proof
That schools must have some government aid--
We've got to have another big study made -- grade by grade."
Well, by then the kids will be wearing long pants
And it'll be too late to give 'em another chance.
That was Ike's secretary of very little Health, not much Education,
And inadequate Welfare.

Now there's another member of the Eisenhower crew --
That's Charles E. Wilson, with the GM view.
He says, "What's good for General Motors is good for me and you,"
But as Mr. Chrysler knows, that ain't necessarily true.
Now Charlie likes dogs but he don't like folks,
And when men are out of work he's got lots of jokes.
He's got an adding machine where his heart ought to be,
But Eisenhower says, "He's the man for me."
But don't get me wrong. I like Ike. Love that Smile.
Makes me feel so good.

Well, Ike's got a few pals in the government
Who'd never think of taking a single cent;
But of course they don't mind trying out their luck
At picking up on the side a buck
Or two. Or three. Or four. Or maybe more.

Well, it's a big business government from A to Z
And there's not much room for you and me;
There's room for Wall Street and U.S. Steel,
And if you happen to be a GM wheel,
Well, brother, you'll roll. Automatic shift. Power steering.
Finger tip control.

Now, there's one little helper we can't forget:
That's Tricky Dick Nixon, Mr. Eisenhower's pet.
He's a fine tall lad with a big sharp ax
That he likes to plant in other people's backs.
Dick sneaks around spreading hate and fear
Painting loyal Americans with a big red smear.
But Eisenhower smiles and says, "Dick's my boy,
He's the administration's pride and joy."
Clean as a hound's tooth. Has a nice dog, too.
Name of Checkers. Helps him out on TV.

But Ike's so busy knocking that little white ball
That he hasn't time to play president at all,
So when problems come a-flying, he let another worm in at 'em --
The Assistant Full Time President, old smiling Sherman Adams.
Yes, around Mr. Adams the whole nation pivots
While Ike's in Augusta digging up divots.

Well, Ike don't talk good, but he's no laggard- - he
Hired on a fellow named smiling Jim Haggerty
Who straightens Ike out when he says "depression,"
Shows what he meant was just "mild recession."

Well, I've told you all about the Eisenhower team;
The president holds them in the highest esteem.
They may pick your pockets, blacken your name,
And play you for a sucker in the giveaway game.
But Eisenhower loves this motley crew
That's doing such a job on me and you;
He says, "I'm with 'em, every single man,
They're backing my dynamic conservative plan."
That Ike -- he's a modern progressive.
(That's a fellow that stumbles forward every time somebody shoves him.)

Well, he's riding on the old Republican track:
A-one step forward, and a-two steps back.
But I like Ike. I love that smile. Makes me feel so good.
Love that Ike.

Source: Talking Blues, a 1958 Folkways LP by John Greenway

Notes: This fascinating piece of political sarcasm was written by Joe Glazer (no relation to Tom Glazer, who wrote "Talking Social Worker" and "Talking Inflation"). Glazer, of Akron, Ohio, is Educational Director of the United Rubber Workers, AFL-CIO, and is widely known throughout the United States and Canada as a singer and recorder of songs of the labor movement. He recorded a shorter, watered-down version of this song several years ago under the title "I Like Republicans," probably having been pressured into using that title by political expediency dictated by those who believed that a direct frontal attack on President Eisenhower's popularity might prove disastrous at election time. The version sung here has never previously been recorded or published, but was sung into Dr. Greenway's tape recorder by Glazer himself several years ago. Stanzas 13 and 14 (concerning Sherman Adams and Jim Haggerty) were written by Dr. Greenway to bring the song up to date.

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Darn. I thought Joe and Tom Glazer where brothers.

Say, don't some of those complaints about Ike sound familiar? Trickle down? - I thought that was initiated by Reagan....

-Joe-