Make up obnoxious lyrics to some other losers........say, "Misty".............

Look at me.
My dick's so fockin' stiff that I can't pee.
And both of my balls are turning blue.
With my tool in my hand I get horny
Thinking of you.

On my own.
Must I take matters in hand
And go it alone?

.....well, you get the idea...........Broadway show tunes work well too.

Spaw