Wanking is the achievement of ejaculation without orgasm; it seems some 80% of all men suffer from this inability, leading to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, frustration, depression and in extreme cases it might even result in them taking up folk singing. Onanism, on the other hand, is celebratory, shameless & joyful male-masturbation in which the virtuosic techniques of ecstasy result in a near infinite orgasmic plateau long before the old semen puts in an appearance, which is, of course, optional. And it turns women on something rotten. If God hadn't wanted us to masturbate he'd have put our genitals in the middle of our backs.

Otherwise - any good masturbation songs? Here's one:

Muddy Mouth from Robert Wyatt's Ruth is Stranger than Richard (1975)

Deep in the undergrows, Handy sighed with relief. He'd come alone in the dark
He'd come again at dawn, if not before the morning cockrise
Meanwhile in the bushes above, behind the toepath which goes along
Beside the canal leading to the sea, which in turn leads on to
All the major oceans - Indian, Atlantic, Pacific,
I can't remember the names Of the others
off - Handy cided to leave
He'd come apart at the seam - endangered life and lawn order before
The more since he lies (even under oaf handy lies) when he feels caught
Between righthand wrong. I think he just might have been wrong this time
Which in turn left him with few alternatives to relieving himself by hand
Alone in the dark, wanking in the bog?

Another is Three Tenses Onanism from Kew. Rhone by John Greaves & Peter Blegvad (1977) but I don't have the words to hand. Anyone??