I've heard of a peeled potato having to be removed from the darkest depths of a clergyman's rectum, which somehow, in itself, doesn't greatly surprise me, but the excuse he gave the nurses was wonderful. He claimed he was standing naked on the sink replacing the curtains in his kitchen, and slipped, sitting down very hard on the offending vegetable which just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ever since I heard that, I've steadfastly avoided changing my curtains naked.