LOL, Bobert!
But I'll have you know that Portland's been almost Saharan during most of the summer (July 5 to Labor Day, here in Puddletown) for about the last 5 to 10 years.   We've had 10-day spells of 90 to 106 degree temps and as many as 6 to 8 weeks with negligible rainfall.

(Recently, in the midst of about a month of clear, hot days, it clouded over and even rained a little for two days: the two main days of the Perseid meteor shower!   Aarrgh!)

Joe Pye weed is one of those that can be edible at certain stages.

Another of my favorite weeds is Amaranthus (pigweed) - especially the dark red or purple ones.   They look like they are related to celosia, and they are very (too?) easy to grow. Very easy to pull up if they're where you don't want them. They can grow quite tall and are very pretty in the garden.
You can also pop the seeds like popcorn.